Why do bad things happen to good people? Sometimes it's hard to wrap my head around this, especially when it comes to my faith. We are taught that if we live righteously and do what we are supposed to do, then we will be blessed. Okay, that sounds great in theory. How then do you explain why horrible things happen to "good" people? I did everything I was "supposed" to do and my son still died. Why? Was I not righteous enough? I remember wrestling with these ridiculous notions after Parker died.
Why are some parents faced with the trial of burying more than one child? It is so hard for me to see good people suffer through horrible afflictions. I just want to fix everything. More than anything, I wish I could suffer for them so they wouldn't have to feel the loss, the longing, the horrible pain. Nobody should have to lose a child. Nobody should have to feel that ache. Let alone have to suffer through it twice.
A friend of mine buried her baby boy about two years ago. And for whatever reason, Heavenly Father just called her second child back to heaven (another baby born premature). Why? She is the most loving, giving, serving person I've ever met. She lights up the room. She will be an amazing mother when she finally is given the opportunity to raise a child. Why would Heavenly Father take a baby away from someone so utterly amazing? It hardly seems fair.
But then I look at the eternal view of things. I already know that infants who die are the choicest spirits of our Heavenly Father. All these choice spirits needed to pass this earthly test is to receive a body. That's all. They just needed to receive a body. I can just imagine our premortal existence. I can picture these sweet spirits. They knew they only needed a body, and we were honored to give it to them. I'm sure my friend was at the first of the line to say, "I'll have the honor of giving you a body!"
I still don't know why bad things have to happen to good people. However, I do know that those bad things have the opportunity to make us better people. Stronger people. More righteous people. I also know that when we experience bad things, it makes us better able to have empathy towards others. We are better able to comfort others and console them. And if I can make one person's burden even the slightest bit lighter, I am overjoyed.
I love each and every one of my friends who've lost a child. I feel so close to them. I've also made many new connections because of my loss. It's amazing how close you can feel to someone who's gone through something similar. It's AMAZING how the Lord brings these people into our lives. The Lord DOES love us. Even if we're called to experience something awful, Heavenly Father loves us and is aware of our torment. He will never leave us alone. He is with us every moment of every day. We are in His every thought and he will never ask us to bear more than what He knows we can handle.
Although I can't say I'm thankful my son died, I can say that I'm thankful for what I've been taught. I'm thankful for the people I've met. I'm thankful for the strength the Lord gives me, even now. I can see many wonderful fruits of my trial. And though I'm nowhere near where I should be, losing Parker has brought me closer to Heavenly Father. Parker has given me a goal to reach for: I must live my life as best I can to be worthy to be with him again.