Time

While searching through my sister-in-law's blog, I started to click on some of her links. I ran across a girl who had just recently lost her son as well. As I read her story, my heart broke for her. How badly I wished I could take away her hurt. The memories of my loss of Parker came rushing back to me. Tears filled my eyes and I just sobbed for the girl. Most days I'm ok. I don't cry on a daily basis over the loss of my son anymore. It still hurts and I still long for him, but the initial pain is over. Every now and then, I cry though.

There's a saying, "Time heals all wounds." I agree with that, but not completely. I think time makes things easier and I do think that the hurt slows down. However, I don't think I will ever stop hurting and longing for my son. There will always be a place in your heart that hurts for the child you've lost.

We hired a new lady at work - I think she's in her 40s. She lost two sons to stillbirth over 15 years ago. She told me how she still cries when she thinks back about her children. She says that sometimes people are surprised that she can still cry about it when it was so long ago. It doesn't surprise me though. Even when you lose your child in infancy or pregnancy, they are still your child and you still love them with all your heart.

I hope all of those who have lost a child can feel the redeeming love of our Savior and Heavenly Father. The gospel is a glorious thing and I feel so privileged to know that I will see my son again someday. I can't wait to hold him in my arms again - how I long for that reunion.